In today's world the greatest offence is causing offence. We are taught and encouraged never to confront, never to chastise, never to correct for fear of hurting someones feelings. Even if I am doing something wrong, you must never point that out as I may take offence and feel hurt.
I am not sure when this disconnect started. When we have young children and they do something like running across the road, we are quick to correct them. Typically the child will howl in protest but their safety is of more importance than their misguided opinion of their autonomy.
We continue to do this, until somehow we stop. We are there on the sidelines as we watch our young teens often reel from one disaster to another. We are there to pick up the pieces and hope that they speak with us.
With adults however, the policy of correction is entirely absent. We may have friends who are heavy drinkers, or engaged in activities that we know are problematic but we don't ever bring it to their attention. "they are adults" "They should know" " It is none of our business"
We do not want to cause offence, and perhaps we may leave a hint on their desk that they should consult a professional..anonymous of course! We watch our work colleagues engage in dangerous or even destructive activities and we remain silent. Our reasoning is 'we do not want to cause problems'
Had we done so with our young child, they would be dead. Why are we so diffident to love those around us so that we are mute when we see disaster looming? At the heart of our diffidence and reticence is not fear to be offensive but rather our failure to love those around us. When we love someone we will do our best to ensure that they thrive and survive. We call our friends if we think they are a little depressed, we help our neighbours and so forth, Sadly we treat our coworkers or employees with disdain and neglect. We fail to answer their emails, or suggestions and claim 'we are busy'. We may see signs of distress but we do not reach out to them. We are busy and moreover we do not want to interfere.
This month is very poignant for me. I had a work colleague who was engaged in activities I knew to be dangerous. Rather than openly confront him, I hedged around the subject not wanting to offend him. I knew he was lonely but did not invite him, citing my own interests instead. I would spend time with him after work in the office and would share a little of my faith but once again I hestitated for fear of offence.
A year ago today, my friend was found beaten to death in the company of those who I knew to be dangerous but did not condemn. My cowardly fear of offence haunts me to this day.
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