In addition to anxiety, many, if not all of my clients suffer to some extent or another from depression. For some it is a heavy blanket that covers and smothers them. Some are unable at times to leave their beds. For others it is an overall sense of lack of meaning or purpose and they question why they are here.
There have been endless studies as to the cause of depression ranging from chemical imbalances to faulty thinking or even to genetics. There are workbooks, courses, treatment protocols galore some of which work in the short term but then the silent sad killer creeps back into the lives of its victims and strikes again.
In my experience most of my victims become depressed or rather allow it to take root in their lives due mainly to unmet expectations. They have dreams and aspirations and when they are not met they begin to question their purpose in life. I have seen this with middle aged couples who began life with marriage as a goal and then children and once acheiving this find themselves strangely empty and devoid of goals once the children move away from the home. Many of them even divorce at this point to try to create new challenges to inspire and once more inflame them with meaning in their lives.
In fact, in my practice it appears that depression is the result of a deep lack of meaning in one's life. It is a malaise, a torpor and an indifference that gradually like a fog takes over all aspects of our lives. The depressed person loses interest in almost everything and withdraws but not towards something but rather withdraws towards emptiness and despair.
The cure for depression therefore lies not so much in activity but in finding meaning that is lasting. Many people try to ascribe meaning to temporary things. For example many of my clients enjoyed highly successful careers but once they retire they become depressed as the source of validation and meaning no longer exists. The same is true of marriage or love, or family, or wealth or even health. In short anything that is temporary and depends on circumstances can fail us and we will lapse into despair and become depressed when we withdraw slowly away from our activities into emptiness.
Many temporary solutions are offered for such victims. Exercise is recommended, deep breathing, hobbies, mindfulness and so on and so forth and while these may offer temporary solace they are not cures simply because they too are temporary.
The sad silent killer whispers to us that we are nothing, that our lives are devoid of meaning and there is simply no point to continuing. Our misfortunes are magnified and our blessings are discounted. The world is painted in a dull shade of grey and we live among the shades and the shadows.
In my experience as as the name of my website suggests it is my conviction that the only solution to depression that cripples and kills is to find solace and love and fulfillment in that which is not dependent on circumstances, or how we feel. That is only found within and through our relationship with God eternal, We have a God who is never separated from us, who infuses us with grace and showers us with love if we but turn ever so slightly to encounter Him. We are created in His image and our souls like sunflowers always turn towards Him. When we return it is as if part of us that has been ignored is restored and we begin to emerge from the shadows into the light of His love. I cannot fully explain this except to say that when my clients return to the faith and begin once more to pray, they experience a renewal of their lives and they start to see themselves not as sad victims but rather sons and daughters of God. They are joyful and eager to engage life with their new understanding. They are no longer disturbed by small things but somehow can engage at a far more profound level. Their eye contact improves, they walk with greater purpose and for perhaps the first time in their lives they have true meaning and purpose. It is a joy to see and a delight to behold. #depression #anxiety
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